


A Fetish in The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

by CoolestCucumber



Category: DICKBAGGER, David Bowie - Fandom, Mick Jagger - Fandom, The Rolling Stones
Genre: ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, AU, DICKBAGGER - Freeform, F/M, Ice Bucket Challenge, M/M, PWP, Post Without Preview, jk PORN WITH PLOT, otp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 16:11:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2198283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoolestCucumber/pseuds/CoolestCucumber
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A possible AU: David Bowie asks an old friend for a favour so he can BREAK THE ICE from his retreat under the public eye. </p><p>The two friends thought they tried it all in the summer of '85, when the time was right for Dancing In The Street... </p><p>Much to their own amusement and as far as their imaginations may stretch, they were dead wrong about having 'done' everything with each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Looking For Water

**Author's Note:**

> ok again, I LOVE IMAN AND I HAVE A GREAT DEAL OF RESPECT FOR HER. OK?
> 
>  
> 
> This is purely for my own amusement which I get from seeing other people's reactions. That's just how I roll. 
> 
>  
> 
> DIS I CLAIMER: I do not own Mick Jagger or David Bowie as much as I'd like to ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
>  
> 
> (Chapter 1 Title Name= Bowie Song)

11PM; the pixels had blared out from the Mac screen and reflected into mismatched eyes. Eyes that concealed a brain behind.  
The brain was under pressure to think.  
'think. think! how on earth am I gonna do this', he thought as his puzzled face pulled together. 

Susan Sarandon had just nominated David Bowie for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. He wanted to come back under the limelight in style and figured that this would be a good opportunity to do so.  
"David, are you coming to bed?", Iman purred from the main bedroom.  
"J-just a second, love. I gotta make a phone call..." and David did just that.

 

...

 

"Um. Hello?"  
"It's David, Hi! Sorry if it's a bit early-"  
"Hey, David! no not at all it's fine. I-uh was just gonna get up anyway.", Mick lied. It was 5 AM in Europe & he was still exhausted from touring but he didnt want to upset his Davey Slavey.  
"Oh. Ok.", David double-checked the World Clock on his Mac to see how early it was there and almost gasped into the phone when he saw.

There was a moment of complete silence. They hadn't heard from each other for some months -which was a very long time to them.  
"So... I just got nominated for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. I hope I didn't call at a bad time but I was wondering if... you were to consider. Maybe doing... the challenge -with me?", David fell cold as  
he grew agitated with fear, flustered  
with lust.  
Mick responded with a throaty laugh, "Of course David! It would be my pleasure." 

Information was exchanged and David ended the call with something along the lines of 'Look, Mick. It's 2AM here I'm afraid I best be heading off to bed now. -yes- -yeah i can bring some- -ok, thank you so much again- -Buh-Bye, Love. See you soon-.'


	2. Looking for Satellites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (chapter name= another Bowie song... not even jk)

Mick came at exactly 4:20am.  
Iman had left with Lexi at 2am so they can go to the local farm?? Leaving the Dirty Boys all by their alonesomeselves.  
David opened the door of his NYC apartment, "Hey, Mick your just in time!"

"I brought the quaaludes and red wine", Mick slurred viciously through his plump, red lips. 

"Ok let's do this", David announced rubbing his palms, legs apart on the ground.  
"you mean literally everything we discussed thru the phone", Mick stammered.  
"everything".

 

Mick filled up buckets upon buckets of ice and water as David set up his Cam Recorder. 

They both carried in the buckets into the bathroom and dumped their loads -Of Icy Water that is- into the bathtub. At once, Mick started to strip down to his Birthday Suit while David went into his bedroom, not to give Mick privacy but to comeback with one of his most bizarre costumes ever.  
"what is that", Mick asked covering his two hands to censor his Wankie Schlong, which was not enough. He needed two more hands to cover his length completely, now more than ever as it had grown to a metre.  
Mick's erection pounded after David put on his costume.

"I call it 'The JizzySmutdust Costume".  
It started with a transparent skirt made of plastic and the blouse was attached to a bright green dog collar with 'Shrek' embedded into it and the torso featured a collage of warped images of the faces of Whoopi Goldberg and Nile Rodgers. David turned around so Mick could see that the collage continued and was captioned "Who wore it better 2003" in Comic Sans s font. 

Mick. Was startlingly. aroused. 

He grabbed David and pushed him into the bath tub, jumping in after him.

David could see that his love suit was working because Mick's nipples were so hard that he literally felt them because they grew very long. Mick's spaghetti nipples had taken up a mind of their own and began to caress David's face.

David giggled almost uncontrollably as the two red, spaghetti strands trailed his cheek.

"I'm sorry, I'm just really cold.. t-that's why my nipples are so hard", Mick obvi lied.

"That's ok, love... You know I don't mind", David cocked his head to his shoulder while biting his lip. 

And then, in a flurry of annoying gym-whistling and the shoutings of several countries and continents: "GERMANY-SOUTH AMERICAA- UK- BRAAAZIIL" their lips met. 

David broke their kiss which was based on their sex hormones rather than romance. 

"Fuck me like an ogre", David pleaded. 

"I'll fuck you senseless like a Goofy Goober", Mick grinned wickedly.

He gestures whimsically over his Magic Wand and it is suddenly a Metre-Long Magic Wand no longer. It is now a peanut. Literally a peanut, no flesh or blood. Just a peanut with a pink tip (you can guess what that is).  
Mick then leaned over David who was straining his neck and tongue to lick Mick's Peanut Peenie as Mick grabbed some eyeliner that was left on the vanity by the bath tub. He proceeded to draw with the eyeliner -two lines on his upper lip. "There's just one eh-favour I ask from a-you, Davehd Roberto Joneso", Mick was trying to be sexy with an exaggerated and inaccurate French accent under his newly acquired moustache. 

"What would that be?" 

Mick dropped the accent, "We both sing Dancing in the Street... just for old times sake, as my cock penetrates the width of your circle." 

David groaned in a husky voice, "oooh I'd like that" and the corners of his lips started to curl, forming cute little craters that were the dimples of his cheeks.

Mick's Peanut entered David's pooping-chute. "oooooh, right there" David said arousedly. The peanut peenie ejaculated peanut-buttery fluids into David's cavernous ass. With all the peanut butter now inside David's cavernous ass, it's inhabitants -the bootysquad now have the fuel to boost their economy and can now source all their energy from the peanut butter for gas and electricity to feed their children.. every 420 Million individuals of the tiny bootysquad population who live in David's Cavernous ass. Thanks to Peanut Peenie, they don't need to pay their taxes anymore. Now they all blaze their candles in respect for their Jagannātha ('Lord of their world' in Hindu) to chant "LONG LIVE DAVID'S ASS, LONG LIVE DAVID'S ASS". But the chant of the ever circling booty family was too quiet for David to hear over Mick's vocals as he sung "EVERY GUY, GRAB A GURL" and once again-grabs David by the waist. The poor little assmen tried and tried to be heard, they screamed so much inside David's ass. They yelped and cried and booed and it was all so tiring for the poor little assmen that they much rather start yawning. And so they did, all at the same time, they yawned a great big yawn out of their Saviour's Ass. A great big "YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYolo420AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnacondadon'twantnoneWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN" and so finally. after that great big yawn. they finally, still couldn't be heard. you know why? because they are fucking "assmen", they couldn't b heard coz they don't fucking exist duh. anyways, Mick screeched into song and David forgot the words because he was so close to cuming and all he could focus on was Mick Jagger's gorgeous, stubby Peanut Peenie. David at one point did try to sing, though he could not put the words together, "DANCE STREET CHICAGOOOO-OH". 2 b continue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heaps of references to other bowie songs. well done if u found them all

**Author's Note:**

> PREPARE UR SPHINCTER 4 chapter TWO. 
> 
> this fanfic will explore my methods of Smut Writing...  
> I have 2 methods of writing le smut  
> 1)Traditional, Normal Smut Writing With a Hint of Fluff
> 
> 2) So Fucked Up Smut That It Will Make Your Grandma Cry Pumpkin Seeds & She Will Feed The Pumpkin Seeds To Her Pet Rhino Which Will Soon Consume Her Fetus Because This Rhino is the 39th Doctor And Has Time Travelled Back To When Ur Nanny Was A Fetus Because WTF? RHINO'S DON'T EAT MOTHERFUCKING PUMPKIN SEEDS GRANDMA! DA FAK WRONG WITH YOU? MESSIN WITH RHINO'S AND SHIT. GO HOME.


End file.
